It’s as if I haven’t yet poked enough fun at public education. This morning I read a story just crying for further discussion and analysis, so with my apologies to those so inclined to defend lunacy in our schools, I bring you this topic.

A fifth grade teacher from New Jersey has been fired after running through his apartment complex naked on a dare. The real news surrounding this event is that it only took the district 4 months to fire the man under new tenure rules designed to speedily deal with naked teachers streaking through apartment complexes.

4 months! In Florida that is unheard of, but of course our teachers don’t run naked, instead preferring to simply beat and abuse students. But still, they can’t be fired for that here.

Adding insult to injury, he happens to be his school districts “Teacher of the Year”, having been awarded that for the 2011-2012 school term. I am not sure if there is a swimsuit component to that contest, but it may explain a few things if so.

I know that some of you will think this is unjust, that a man on his own time should be able to pursue whatever leisurely personal pleasures he desires without the fear of losing his job. There may be some element of truth to that, but I would postulate that if he were to coincidentally pass one of his students or their family on his little sojourn, it would make for one heck of a parent teacher conference later in the year. Also, the sight of the district teacher of the year being led away by police, wearing nothing but a smile and handcuffs could be downright scarring.

And of course, a question of good judgement and common sense always wends its way into these little discussions. How exactly does a person, presumably educated with a career that should be considered respectable, one who works with small children, come to the conclusion that stripping naked and violating public decency laws would be a really good idea? And did he wear his “Teacher of the Year” ribbon while engaged in this little challenge?

But I digress. The real story here is that a tenured teacher got fired, and in less time than it took to build the pyramids at Giza. 

Between that and Michigan’s new Right to Work laws, I am beginning to think the Mayans were right. The world just might be ending this month…..  

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