In the era of corporate belt tightening and more rigid policies that are a result of the #MeToo movement, it was bound to happen eventually. It is a perfect storm for benefit reduction, and this one will really hit most Americans right where they live. Or where they might like to live. Whichever.

It appears corporate America is beginning to disallow strip-club bills on their employee’s expense reports.

Sporting wear manufacturer Under Armour recently issued a memo informing their employees that limo services, gambling, and adult entertainment are among the items that will no longer be reimbursed by the company. Personally, I had no idea that they were still reimbursing limo services, gambling, and adult entertainment. If I’d known that I would have applied with them years ago.

Now I gather this means their employees must foot the bill if they engage in these events, and then drive themselves home from the bar. Unless, of course, if they lost their car gambling. Then I suppose they would have to walk home. 

Maybe a stripper will give them a ride (no pun intended). 

I tell you, it is a sad day in America when a group of men can no longer take another group of men to a place located in a subpar section of town where watered down libations are served while young gyrating women take off their clothes and perform other “personal services” in an effort to sell more gym socks and headbands. What is this country coming to? 

Of course, if the #MeToo era reaches its logical end, strippers will eventually be putting more clothes on as part of their act, so maybe this change is for the better.

I suspect, for once, the insurance industry is ahead of the curve when it comes to this trend of stripping stripper benefits. While I suppose that some skeezy vendors may still give this tactic a try, most people working in insurance companies are far too risk averse to be put in that situation. And the outing certainly wouldn’t be appearing on a major carrier’s expense report. Besides, would you want to host a dozen male actuaries in Mr. Bing Bang’s “Boom-Boom Room?” There would be calculators and spreadsheets everywhere while they tried to determine pole viscosities and the potential for glitter mishaps.

Nobody wants to see that.  

No, in this area the insurance industry likely leads the trend away from such behaviors. As more and more industries get on board with this new thinking, it represents real challenges for the adult entertainment industry. With less corporate subsidies being used to support their industry, I expect they will have to diversify. I would suggest they look to the bowling industry as an example of one that has had to change their formula to continue to attract customers and survive. The old-time bowling alley is now a multi-faceted recreation center where something is offered for everyone. There is midnight bowling, daylight bowling, naked bowling (seriously, that happens) and the venerable league bowling. They also have game rooms, child care facilities and more for those heretics who do not bowl. They begrudgingly offer something for the whole family. 

I think the euphemistically named “Gentlemen’s Clubs” could really boost their business by following this model. There could be a daycare center so stay at home Dad’s wouldn’t have to just stay at home. Along that line of thinking they could add small amusement centers to entertain the older kids, and perhaps open a gun shop for Mom, and an Urgent Care Center for those who may need it.

Something for everyone. That is the answer for them as corporate America continues to remove the strippers from their ledger sheets. 

As usual, there is no charge for this bit of brilliance. No need to thank me. It is just what I do.

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