Earlier today we released the long anticipated results of our recent Workers' Compensation Social Media Survey Project. Within hours of its release, hundreds of people had submitted requests for the downloadable files. 

Now, we didn't ask for much here. We ask that people requesting the files tell us who they are, and who they work for. We need a legitimate email address, or the requestor won't receive the file info. No one will see that data, except for the project authors. We promise not to use the emails to solicit recipients, sell their info to spammers and hackers, or register them for increasingly shameful pornography. 

We just want to know who is benefitting from our stuff.

Largely, the hundreds of people who completed the form did so forthrightly and honestly. True, there is always an inordinate amount of Hotmail, Yahoo and Gmail accounts, but I get that. I use a Gmail account from time to time, because I live in constant fear that people who ask me for my email address will solicit me, sell it to spammers and hackers, or register me for increasingly shameful pornography. But trust me, we've been in business thirteen years, and if we promise not to abuse your info, you can take that to the bank.

So, it was this in mind that we noticed one particular request for the download info. It was completed by a person who listed their name as Jaberwocky Fitzsimmonsbergstein. My initial thought was that this person may be part of the Boston Fitzsimmonsbergstein's, but they generally vacation in the French Alp's this time of year. No, this was something suspicious. Something amiss. Our misgivings were confirmed when we saw the name he listed as his employer. 

Jaberwocky Fitzsimmonsbergstein works for “Joe Mamma's Insurance Company”.  I suspect we won't find them in AM Best's ratings anytime soon.

Now, here's the deal. If Jaberwocky had used their real name, or maybe even known how to spell “Jabberwocky”, we would have hardly noticed. But at this point, he had our full attention. This was a challenge. The gauntlet had been cast. You see, Jaberwocky had to use a real email to get the data he desired to acquire. True, he used a generic free account, but it was a real account.

Jaberwocky, let me introduce you to both the benefits and dangers of the internet today. With that email address and a little network magic, within minutes we had your number. Literally. And your name. Where you work. How long you've worked there. And where you went to school. Now, rest assured your secret is safe with us, because, after all, we have that pesky privacy policy that says we won't solicit you, sell your email address to spammers and hackers, or register you for increasingly shameful pornography. Still, you'll know we know you know we know who you are.

Jaberwocky is an attorney, who has worked for the same insurance carrier for a good number of years. He lives on the east coast, in the same state where he went to college and law school. I won't say what state, but I'll bet he's fond of Crab cakes, and if he is a baseball fan, he might end up right here in Sarasota during spring training next year. We have 15 common connections on LinkedIn. We belong to several of the same groups. It's like we've known each other forever.

My bestest friend, Jaberwocky Fitzsimmonsbergstein.

There we have it. You can lie, but you can't hide. Next time, tell the truth. After all, we only wanted to know who is using our stuff.

Even an attorney should be able to understand that.