Here is a helpful hint for all the jovial plotting pranksters out there. If you call 911 to report an armed robbery at the place where you work, don’t yell “April fools!” to the officers responding to the call.
That is what seems to have occurred April 1st at a Waffle House in Hampton, VA, where 20 year old employee Susan Alexandria Tinker was arrested and charged with “falsely summonsing police”. She had apparently called 911 to report an armed robbery at 5:56 AM, and police arriving on the scene quickly determined it was part of an April Fool's day joke.
She faces fines of up to $2500 and up to 12 months in jail.
We can only presume that Ms. Tinker has recently reentered the job market, and is in search of gainful employment with a more understanding employer. We can also assume that somewhere there is a corporate risk manager who has had all the sharp objects removed from their office, as they may seriously consider ending it all rather than continue to deal with intellectual idgets for the rest of their illustrious career.
Now, for mostly legal reasons I will not call this woman stupid. I merely say there is stupid, and then there is her. The reader can make up their mind on if, and/or where she resides on the widely internationally recognized Moron-Dipwad scale.
What I can do, however, is point to some really juicy comments in the source article that brought this to my attention. Those people are mean. Funny, but mean. One was so brilliant I am printing it here for your review and amusement. A commenter named Paul E. Mann contributed a touching poetic tribute that sums everything up beautifully. He wrote:
Little Miss Tinker, sat in the clinker, for being an April Fool.
A novice hoodwinker, she’s no great thinker, as fooling police not cool.
From being a stinker, to a Kool-Aid drinker, who savors the jailhouse gruel
Like a spotlight shrinker to a lock and chain linker, it appears the joke’s on you…!
(Insert Applause Here)
For those of you responsible for editing your employee handbooks, you may want to add a section discouraging employees from attempting this little maneuver. It is unlikely they will, but you never know. People are often quite willing to demonstrate they are highly functioning entities on the internationally recognized Moron-Dipwad scale.
It's best to be prepared. One may even work for you.