My brain has been saturated with drugs the last couple weeks, and not in a fun way. It has been inundated with information and discussions on opioids (and lack of Regulator leadership thereof), prescription abuse, repackaged drugs and physician dispensing. I even attended a Physicians Dispensing Summit, where, despite its promising name, not a single Doctor I met was dispensing any drugs.

It's been a serious week that required heavy intellectual processes, of which, as you may know, I am largely bereft. I'm pooped. And knowing that there is much more to be written on these topics, I have a serious urge to take a break and write about a less serious one. I have an insatiable need to make fun of something.

My Media Department, the people who scan and filter the news stories that appear for the industry in our CompNewsNetwork service, are good at finding unique topics that might be, for lack of a better phrase, “in my wheelhouse”. It was with this in mind that they brought me a story yesterday, about a Tennessee Assisted Living Facility that lost a court appeal and was found liable for damages from the improper administration of an enema. Now, the concept of “Death by Enema” has potential, but the reality of this story is a tragic tale where a woman died from a ruptured colon, caused by an enema given contrary to physician instructions. Maybe it's the opiod haze talking, but there is nothing really funny about that.

Despite taking a pass on that, it got me to thinking. Are there any stories out there related to workers' comp and enemas?

Fortunately for all of you, it appears not. But I did find that we are one twisted country when it comes to the topic.

I found a Florida couple who “enjoy” up to 100 coffee enemas a month – sometimes 4 of them in a single day. Don't let the people at Starbucks hear about that. Their brew is already strong enough, and besides, if they ever offered them I am pretty sure we couldn't afford it.

I found a PDF document whose title on Google was “enema – State of West Virginia”. Yet when I accessed that document found it to be an “Expression of Interest” prepared for the West Virginia Department of Environmental Protection regarding “Professional Mapping and Engineering Design Services”. Not sure what they were mapping, but it sounds like an “in depth” proposal.

There was something called “butt chugging”, which apparently involves enemas, alcohol and the hospitalization of students from the University of Tennessee. Ironically that story tells us that University officials had met with Fraternity leaders 10 days before the “butt chugging incident” occurred, reviewing rules about drinking on campus. Now they will have to rewrite the manual, as I would bet the innovative method used was not discussed in that meeting.

There is something called the Brown Cow Enema. I suspect the instruction book for that one is called “How Now, Brown Cow?”

Ow.

I also came across something called a Viagra enema. That one exposed me to a disturbing world to which I had no idea existed (I'm a Republican). I really can't go into details on it, but I had never considered an enema as being a tool used for sexual arousal (I'm a Republican). These people are sick, and after all, I'm a Republican.

So it is clear that I have ventured far off the path originally intended. Perhaps, for the benefit and safety of all involved, I need to stay on drugs a while longer. It will be better for all of us if I do.

I might even write about them, too.