Today I provide a vital public service, so pay attention. It is a health related warning, and this is important; your safety and security just might be at risk.

If an 81 year old man knocks on your door, claims to be a doctor, and offers you a free breast exam, proceed with extreme caution. He may not, repeat – may not, be a real doctor.

This week, a man who posed as a doctor and offered free door-to-door breast exams at a Florida apartment complex in 2006 agreed to a plea deal that will let him serve 1 year in jail, and two years of community control. 81 year old Phillip Winikoff, of Coconut Creek, FL must also register as a sex offender.

According to authorities, at least two women took him up on his generous offer, but “realized something was wrong after the exams started”.


After the exam started? Just at that point they thought something might be amiss? What, pray tell, was their first clue? According to one victim, it was after his hands left her breasts (Excuse me, sir, but THAT is not my breast. Let's stay focused here). She called police. He ran away. Probably didn't even have a chance to issue a diagnosis.

However, he had regained his composure enough to return later that day, and manage to assault another woman.

Now, I cannot fathom what kind of mind it would take to concoct such a ridiculously demented scheme, but I am equally aghast that not one, but at least two people would actually fall for it as well. Far be it for me to dump on the victims, but I am sorry; there are times when common sense and personal responsibility should come into play. So for those of you who may be confused or unsure of how to handle this situation when it inevitably arises in your neighborhood, I offer these three simple “points of guidance”:

  1. Doctors generally do not make house calls
  2. Doctors generally do not conduct free breast exams
  3. Doctors generally do not conduct free breast exams when making house calls

There. I hope that is helpful. I know this advice would have helped me last year. I had no clue when that door to door prostate examiner came knocking.

Now I just feel silly.

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