A story in Courthouse News caught my eye recently, as it highlighted the inane levels of political correctness we now see on a daily basis. It tells of a lawsuit filed against a Vancouver, BC Building Council because they blocked a restaurant chain from leasing a space in their building. A “Moby Dick’s Fish and Chips” franchise was denied permission to lease the space because the council determined that the name of the business was “offensive”.

I had no idea that the word Moby represented such negative connotations. I mean, what could possibly be unpleasant about that? 

This just in: Apparently, it was not the word Moby that offended the snowflake building council. They instead determined that “Moby Dick’s Fish and Chips” could not conduct business in their building because the word “Dick” is offensive.

Really? It has come to this point? A restaurant chain named after a literary legend now has an offensive name? 

What a bunch of dicks. 

The building is apparently controlled by what is known in Canada as a “Strata Corporation”, which sounds very much like a Business Condo arrangement here in the states. It is a legal entity that can divide a property into “separate components that are individually owned and common components owned by all of the owners”. The owner of the space in question was another restaurant company that did not survive in the location, and had leased the space to Moby Dick’s.

The building council, however, would not stand for that. They will not be flaccid on the issue. And they are holding firm. They certainly erected an effective blockade to the effort. I could do this all day, people. But I digress…

The council argued that “a Moby Dick sign would hurt the value of neighboring properties, and that the restaurant would bring increased litter and violate city laws on odor.” Yes, we all know how Fish and Chip places always draw undesirable elements and stink up the joint. And there is just something about an eatery with “Dick” in its name that makes a person want to throw trash around in the street. Beyond the obviously ludicrous assertions, their claim about odor and that the business would “hurt the value of neighboring properties” is surprising, considering the building in question is allegedly surrounded by the ocean and harbor.

Oops.

Moby Dick should not be an offensive term. It is a literary classic, for God’s sake. For those who have never read it, allow me to quickly recap here:

One legged dude is obsessed with a big ass whale.

Whale kills everyone.

It is a feel-good romp for the entire family.

What a ridiculous waste of time and resources. It is sad to think we’ve come to this point. This type of attitude, if allowed to spread, will affect people far beyond the confines of a building in British Columbia. People named Richard everywhere will soon find themselves ostracized simply for being Dicks. And that is just considering their first name. Some with ironic last names are in even more serious trouble. In high school, I had a friend whose father was named Richard Head. That guy will need to go into witness protection or something.

What an unfortunate world we endure. Simple words and classic works are twisted into unrecognizable interpretations by the “weak but not meek”; and we are forced to kowtow to their ridiculous demands and oversensitive feelings. Personally, I am rather tired of it. I think a restaurant named after an innocently titled tome considered a literary classic should never have to be concerned with modern day reinterpretations that make no sense. It just shouldn’t be.

Unless your new neighbors are mobyheads, who don’t know dick about history or tradition.