First there was the “The Rumble in the Jungle”, and the “Thrilla in Manilla”. Now we have “Mobsterfest at Lobsterfest”. Or “All You Can Beat Shrimp”. “Crackin’ Jab at the House O’ Crab”,  “Beatin’ Face At That Darden Place” (only current or ex food and bev people like me will likely get that last one).

I always knew that a restaurant server position was a difficult and dangerous job. Slippery floors, heavy lifting, and a fast paced work environment are just a few of the things that contribute to a higher potential for on the job injuries. Now we must add to the list getting assaulted by your customers for being too attentive. Yes, you read that right. That is now apparently a problem in at least one mid-America city.

St. Louis can be a tough town, but a Red Lobster there apparently draws the toughest elements that city can conjure up. 8 months ago, a Red Lobster in Fairview Heights, IL, made national news when customers beat a server who they felt had given them substandard service. That fight was captured on cell phone video and quickly went viral on the web. This week, the very same restaurant was the scene of another server assault, but for quite the opposite reason. Apparently this time, the customers became upset because the server was filling their water glasses too often.

That attentive little bitch.

Incensed by such an outlandish show of competency, one customer at the table picked up her glass and threw it at the server, striking her in the head. Then, as an apparent added measure, she began slapping the server with a dessert book left on the table. 

Glad this wasn’t a Cheesecake Factory. That would have been a lethal weapon.

Male employees and customers intervened to restrain the 3 women until police could arrive and arrest them. I would suggest that they would have been better served running next door to the Cheesecake Factory and borrowing a few dessert menus to teach them a lesson, but I am in no position to judge. 

I know they call Missouri the “Show Me” state, but I had no idea it meant “show me you are a moron” or “show me you you are an imbecile”. I would think those traits are better kept to oneself. Clearly that slogan does not apply to any self improvement requests such as “show me how not to act like an animal” or “show me how to behave properly with decent manners”. However, I do think it appropriate in cases such as this to use it by saying “show me the door”.

The server was treated by paramedics at the scene and apparently did not require further medical care. The three women were apparently ushered to a local jail where they will get “three hots and a cot”, but hopefully not suffer the blatant offense of too much water. That could cause a prison riot.