A Target employee in New Jersey has been arrested for staging what is called an elaborate scheme to fake a workers' compensation claim. Victoria Colon, 28, of Union City, thought of everything. Loosening the shelf that would drop untold amounts of merchandise on top of her head. Pulling a shopping cart with more merchandise over on top of her. Beating herself in the face with a pack of batteries. And finally, for the pièce de résistance, consuming Goldfish crackers and Coca Cola, then regurgitating it all over the floor.
She even had the foresight to, after a fellow employee discovered her and presumably went for help, to restage the incident and take pictures of it. She thought of everything – except for one thing.
The security cameras in the storeroom had already done that for her.
Now the poor girl is all bruised up with no place to go. Except jail, of course.
Now, as much as we hate to waste a good self inflicted battery beat down, it is a good thing that the cameras were there. Authorities reviewed the 10 minute video, and promptly gave her a reason to regurgitate all over again. Authorities say she could receive up to 10 years in prison if convicted.
In my opinion, the real injustice here is that authorities won't release the video. It would surely become a YouTube phenomenon, and a sure fire nominee for WorkersCompensation.com's Dumbass of the Week designation.